Dr. Shosh’s Journal

Scared To Be A Grandma

As I rounded the corner of Mariposa and Puerta, walking toward me was yet another “I Love Being A Grandma!” T-shirt. I smiled, but passed her quickly, not wanting to make conversation. The retirement community where I live is, of course, packed with grandparents. When meeting someone for the first time, the opening chat often …

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So You Didn’t Get Your Way — Now What?

Moms, dads, kids, caregivers, here’s how to heal after a major loss. After a hard fight and a tough race, many Americans are very happily surprised right now by the results of the presidential election (if not euphoric). It’s fun and enjoyable when the candidate of our choice wins — especially when most of the …

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How to Hang onto Your Friends After Nov. 8…

Unless you’re really careful, it’s easy to get sucked into the November election frenzy — and maybe you’re already caught up in the whirlwind. We humans love emotion and drama — that’s partly why we go to movies and sports events, read books, and watch reality TV.

The Right Therapist for Perinatal Emotional Challenges

Don’t settle for the wrong therapist! It sounds so obvious, but this phenomenon happens much too often. My colleagues and I have seen it throughout the years, and it’s quite unfortunate. When Mom or Dad with postpartum depression (PPD) settles for an inexperienced and under educated professional – just because the therapist is covered under their insurance -- the whole family suffers. It’s never worth it.

The 2016 INA Conference

At this point in my career, I pick and choose carefully which projects I take on. Training is one of my favorite activities, and I especially enjoy speaking at conferences for engaged, eager audiences. The INA (International Nanny Association) conference has always been one I love! I’ll be in D.C. training these wonderful folks again in May 2016 and I thought you’d like to know about it.

Dark Side of The Full Moon

Dark Side of The Full Moon is creating a powerful tidal wave of support for the mental health of parents. This wonderful film is the first to explicitly illustrate the barriers to treatment for suffering new moms in the U.S. Shocking and moving stories depict many of the difficulties and consequences faced by women and their partners who don’t receive the help for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders they so desperately need and deserve.

5 “Dirty” Words That All Parents Should Say A LOT

Ignore the hype about forbidden words you shouldn't be using. Back then, a parent who didn't set firm rules or discipline their kids when they acted out was considered irresponsible. Nowadays, you can't reprimand your kids without getting criticized.

6 Important Ways To Help Your Partner Cope With Grief

These six guidelines to helping your significant other mourn a loss can make a big difference. When your partner suffers a major loss, it is an opportunity for the two of you to grow closer, whether the relationship is new or well-seasoned. However, if handled insensitively (no matter how well-intentioned), the opposite can easily occur, and a wedge between you will grow instead.

Telling Your Husband You Have Breast Cancer

How do you break the news to your husband as you're dealing with your own emotions? Telling your loved ones of your recent diagnosis of cancer is difficult. Having been in this scenario quite recently, I can tell you from the inside out—it is a challenge. First, you're dealing with your own emotions about the diagnosis. Second, it's hard not to try and take care of and feel responsible for your spouse's reaction.

Abandonment Issues: How Are They Affecting Your Love Life?

You accept the love you think you deserve. Abandonment issues can certainly appear after we're grown—contrary to popular assumption, they're not always caused during infancy or early childhood. Still, whenever the problem begins, you can be assured that these issues can be completely overcome and need not stand in the way of having a healthy, satisfying relationship.

Why William & Kate Should Go On A ‘Babymoon’

Have you considered taking a babymoon? Maybe you should, too. Have you ever heard of a babymoon? A babymoon is similar to a honeymoon — a time when you, your baby and your immediate family members remain in seclusion for a period of time after your baby is born. During this time, you focus on your marriage and on bonding with and caring for your new baby.

How To Help Your Hubby Avoid Packing On Holiday Pounds

3 tips to help him stay trim over the holidays! In general, it's safe to say that women are more conscious about what we put into our bodies than men are. That typically comes from lots of conditioning regarding our appearances. Unless your guy is particularly aware of health or concerned about his weight, even a very intelligent man will tend to eat just because the food is in front of him.

3 Best Tips for Avoiding Over-Indulging During the Holidays

These tips can help you stop overeating and overspending during December! Overeating, overspending and just plain overdoing it are three of our main indulgences, especially during the holidays. There are a few simple ground rules that can make the difference between feeling satisfied as opposed to weighed down.

8 Holiday Tips For Pregnant Moms

...because holidays are draining enough without a bun in the oven. Pregnancy can zap energy. After all, growing a human takes a lot of work, even if you're just sitting on the couch. Simply walking from the bathroom to the kitchen can completely take the wind out of you. Here are some practical tips to help you stay at the top of your game during the holidays:

The 4 Myths About Pregnancy

Here's what to really expect when you're expecting. Many women wonder why nobody told them that pregnancy not always rosy. It's impossible to know ahead of time how you're going feel during a pregnancy, so don't be surprised if you're up, down and all over the place.

Hoarding

Is it OCD or is it different? Unlike many mental health professionals, I don’t pay much attention to the labels in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). Although hoarding is no longer considered in the category of OCD (Obsessive – Compulsive Disorder), it is by all means a compulsive behavior. Hoarders feel compelled to keep items, even if intellectually and rationally they know they probably won’t need them in a practical sense. The “need” is a powerful emotional one, however.

5 Ways Divorce Benefits Your Kids

Your divorce may have a positive impact on your children after all. Contrary to popular belief, divorce isn't always negative for kids — sometimes it's excellent for kids. Here are five ways that your children can benefit from your divorce:

Mom’s Depressed:
The 5 Biggest Do’s and Don’ts On Mother’s Day

Chances are you know at least one mom who's depressed - so, how do you handle Mother's Day? Can you name the number one complication of pregnancy? If you’re thinking gestational diabetes, you’re on the wrong track. Don’t feel bad - most people haven’t a clue.

Can Divorce Ever Be Good for You?

Divorce doesn't have to be all bad. The stigma associated with divorce is certainly all doom and gloom, but sometimes couples seem so much happier after they split. How does it all add up?

Is Postpartum Depression Ruining Your Marriage?

For most women, having a baby is one of the greatest joys of life. For others, childbirth can lead to feelings of serious sadness and withdrawal, otherwise known as postpartum depression. Yesterday, my husband told me to "snap out" of the bad mood I've been in since our son was born. That feels like the last straw for me. I want to end our marriage because he's so insensitive to my postpartum depression. Am I overreacting?

Why Is My Family Being So Hard On Me Because Of My Divorce?

You're already going through the motions. How are their snarky comments making it any better? As if going through a divorce isn't difficult enough, being let down by your family's lack of support is absolutely heartbreaking. You just lost the love of your life — the fact that the people you thought you could trust to have your back don't get why their constant jabs are so painful to deal with makes everything so much more worse.

Help! My Pregnant Wife Lost Her Libido

Will I have to wait nine months before sleeping with my wife? When your wife is pregnant, it can be hard enough keeping up with her cravings and holding her hair back during her dreaded episodes of morning sickness. What you didn't bargain for was her loss of sex drive. Fortunately, help is on the way. In this instructional sex video, hypnotherapist, psychologist and YourTango Expert Dr. Shoshana Bennett addresses the following question: My wife is newly pregnant and already she's lost her sex drive. Is this temporary or a sign of things to come? How can I help her to understand that sex is an important part of our marriage?

How Can I Manage My Depression While I’m Pregnant?

Don't let your depression go untreated! It goes without saying that depression is dangerous to pregnant moms and unborn babies. Figuring out how to deal with depression can be a bit frustrating (not to mention seriously scary), it is possible to find yourself again. Don't ever feel like you're going through this alone because many of us have been there before. In fact, one of our readers asked: "Dear Dr. Shosh, I've been on anti-depressants for many years and am worried about having to come off them to have a baby. Is anything safe when you're pregnant? Are there other techniques that can help me?"

Whose Needs Should Come First: Mine Or My Kids’?

Find out if it's ever okay to put your own needs before those of your children. Do you sacrifice your own needs in order to satisfy your kids? You may have your priorities all wrong. In this video, hypnotherapist, psychologist and YourTango Expert Dr. Shoshana Bennett says that contrary to what many parents believe, it isn't selfish to put your own needs first. "Selfishness implies that something is happening at someone else's expense," she explains. When you put your own needs before your kids, you're not harming them at all ... quite the opposite, in fact.

Not So Happy Mother’s Day

Should I buy her chocolate? Thousands of mothers will have a hard time enjoying Mother's Day this year due to postpartum depression. One in 7 new moms get hit with this disorder, and for this 15%, Mother's Day can be pretty tough. Most importantly, make sure she's getting good care from a therapist who specializes in postpartum depression. Although a depressed mom may not be able to enjoy much at all these days, her mood may pick up on Mother's Day when you take the following steps. Here are some tips to help the depressed mom in your life enjoy the day as much as possible...

Holiday Tips for Pregnant Moms

If mom is not healthy, then family isn't healthy. Growing a human being takes a lot of energy - as a matter of fact, it can totally "zap" a pregnant mom's strength when she least expects it. If you're pregnant, you already know that simply walking from the kitchen to the bathroom can take the wind right out of you. First and foremost, slice your "to-do" list in half. The cookies don't all have to be made from scratch. Then, as you're hopping from store to store, and popping from friend to friend, make sure you catch your breath (literally) in between all those holiday errands. Give yourself some "down time", even if it's just resting in the car for a few minutes.

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